Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hello 2012, Please Hold

Hello 2012! I've heard you were here, but I'm just not ready yet. It feels like life has been a little off kilter in recent months so I couldn't even get it together enough to make resolutions and I certainly don't feel like I have a grip or vision on this current year. Tough stuff going on with my family that makes my heart heavy for them. The loss of my dear grandfather less than a month ago. Weariness in the trenches of mothering and homeschooling. Physical tiredness from keeping up with a toddler and 3 big kids and growing the precious girl inside my womb. Celebrating Christmas, but not really "feeling" it this year. Finding it hard to make ends meet and provide what we want to for our family. Turning 35 and wondering who in the world I am and feeling some disappointment that I'm not really the gal I wanted to be, thought I would be by this age.

But this I know, for everything there is season (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) and God is with me in whatever season I am in. He sees me. He has compassion and love for me. What a comfort! I serve and worship and rest in the God of grace, not in a god of "Come unto me when you get it together, girl, and then you'll be acceptable and worthy of my attention."

So maybe I am ready for this year after all. Ready for resting in the abundance of God's grace and provision for me, letting His Spirit and Word sustain me.

Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9*)

*read all of Galatians 6 for better context

1 comment:

Karen said...

Oh Rachel.... my heart hurts for your hurts and feels some of your sorrows. You certainly have a full plate with many things going on. I love what you said:
"Ready for resting in the abundance of God's grace and provision for me, letting His Spirit and Word sustain me"
AMEN to that! Moment by moment, day by day... God sustains us all.