Monday, July 25, 2011

Weary & Worthless

I seem to be in a funk right now. My messy house mocks me. I'm lacking motivation. Time with my kids seems more difficult than joy-filled and life-giving. The budget is really tight. I'm so not ready to be starting back to schooling in just a few short weeks and fearing that I don't measure up as a teacher. I am fat and feel ugly and I am discouraged that I have always struggled with my weight. I'm really tired. I'm feeling like what is wrong with me that I just can't get it together?! Then I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way because everyone else seems to be doing fine. And for some reason when all these feelings and circumstances are present I.just.feel.worthless. I've talked with my husband lately about this and he simply said to me, "It sounds like you're not believing the truth." The truth that God loves me. That He sent his own son for me to rescue me from sin and death. That He loves me even when I can't get my act together. Thank you, God, for love and acceptance that is not based on my performance! for some courage to hit "publish".


Stephanie said...

You've got it right, Rachel! Gratitude is the antidote to feeling down!

And, FYI, you aren't the only one who's feeling that way. I, at least, have not got it all together. You did a great job of describing how I have been feeling. But God has been challenging me to see the thousand ways He loves me, because I am not worthless to Him.

Also, in that picture of you and Andrew on your post about vacation, I thought you looked great!

I love you!

melissa said...

You are certainly NOT alone in how you are feeling. I find myself on the brink of tears daily lately because I just cannot get it together. My house is a pit, we have been eating out to often, my laundry is never even close to being done, I feel totally out of shape and frumpy and gross.

I appreciate your Godly perspective and honest heart. He loves me. He loves you. And we are indeed being sanctified and matured in HIM.

Thanks for sharing. It help me not feel alone where I am. Hugs.

Chelsea said...

I read this post yesterday and was thinking "amen" the whole time I was reading it. I have continued to think about it today because I totally feel the same way. I get overwhelmed because things always feel out of control, i try to get things under control but it seems the second the kids wake up... messes are made, spills happen, people are crabby and then I'm back where I started. I feel yucky about myself because time I could spend working on myself... I'm too tired to do so. I'm so thankful for the little people that God blessed us with that make those messes and I will continue to do the best I can each day even when it seems pointless. And much like Andrew pointed out, Jon has pointed out to me... what we are believing about ourselves isn't the truth and is based on feelings which also can be false depending on the situation. All that to say, I hear ya! Yet I don't want to continue living day to day believing those lies that satan wants us to believe.

Kimberly said...


You are most certainly not alone. You are wonderful mother, wife and godly woman. Your new perspective is evidence of that. Hugs to you, I think you are beautiful!